Have you ever seen a pot? Well you sure would have . But have you ever seen how it’s made? Have you ever noticed that a structure so dull , so brittle ,demands so much delicacy and polishing. Have you ever witnessed the scenery , the beauty of how a potter gives a rush to his wheel , take a handfull of clay and starts moulding it into the shape of something so imperfect yet so glimmery. But what’s important is not how he makes it , because what’s important is how he tests it. He leaves the raw and shaped ones for a day or two under the bright sun and waits until the mud bakes brown. And when its done , he fills them with water. The one that breakes , returns to the lap of its origin , the one that doesn’t , is yet just a pot. What do you think was the reason that one pot breaks and the other doesn’t. Well the potter never blames the darkness of the eve that might have dawned the dusk upon the little pot , but blames the fierce flames of the sun that left the burns so deep that they never could be healed.
This was pretty much the condition of Balthazar . His eyes were numb , filled with such sorrow and pain that even the dying rays of the living sun could do nothing but glitter over his crying past. He was facing the setting sun, but what the sun stood still to watch, was if he was going to loose himself to the dusk or not. He kept his eyes all open but all that he kept listening was a faint , distant noise , a noise that was breaking him and something that shook him just to the bottom of his spine.
“Mr. Steel , you must come here soon , its critical.”
Just those words were enough to make Balthazar loose his mind. He put down his bag , and his coat , rushed to the doors while he snatched the keys of the car from his driver’s and sprinted to the vehicle. As soon as he opened the door , Stephen screamed
“What happened ?”
Balthazar turned around , but had no words to answer . It was such horror , so deep in his face that he was even feared to speak it out , to admit it. However the red dripping eyes did the work for him . He screwed in the keys and with the thrashing and humming sound he left for the hospital .
“St. Marron’s “, his voice shrilled , yet was able to spill out just those few words as he stumbled in front of the bright red symbol.
He walked as quickly as he could and then to the reception.
“Romero , Romero d’souza”, mumbled Balthazar filled with terror.
“You are family?”
“I just want to know where is he ?”
“Sorry sir, only family members are permitted to get any knowledge of the admits, are you family ?”
“Yes , yes I am”, said Balthazar as he meant it.
“Well then please give me your intials and you will be going to room 221 B , 2nd floor”
Balthazar filled up and got all over with the formalities only then did he rushed through the stairs and just as he got to the room, he saw two faces. Two innocent faces. A father , silly enough to dream to have his boy from his shoulders to his chest , to accompany him in his deathbed , to help him find peace. A mother , needy enough to expect a son to have her at the top of the world , to treat her like a goddess . What was their fault at that moment, Balthazar stood still unable to tell , while two crying faces were sober enough to cry that their son was gone.
“Romero’s dead. There was an accident . Romero was driving . And then he got call. Only when he picked it up , he missed the signal and got hit by a truck.”
Only if it weren’t the conditions then Balthazar could tell , but he knew who’s call was it. And now all that was filled in him and all that drained out of him was guilt. Only of he didn’t. Only if he weren’t. Only if he couldn’t.
The next few days were worse and worser. The only person , Balthazar could ever connect to , Balthazar could ever relate to was gone. Every single morning the smiling face , every single night the wink and waive , every day that laughing face , now just vanished. He started missing school hours , his diet was interrupted. His interests , his disinterests , his hobbies his life as if got a big hault from the back . And everything that was clear untill , now turned glimsy.
All that he did was kept staring the sunset and waiting for the dusk. One day , Stephen walked besides him , and took a seat. So what do you keep staring at , there is definately no one up there waiting for you.
However Balthazar gave no answer.
“Hey kid , I know you have been through a lot , but this is not a way to face it . Your mother , your sister everyone’s worried now. We all are here for you , you don’t need to keep that pain to yourself. Just let go. This is not how a steel faces it.”
Balthazar didn’t reply , but somewhere the bitterness of his tongue showed symtoms over his and his father understood his disapproval of understanding. So Stephen walked away.
The next day a new morning rose . The sun got up all fierce and in blaze , but yet maybe it was the night or maybe the time that was yet off its colours. While everyone was awake , the leader was still lying on his bed , all pale all white. Only when the assistant walked into the room after the schedule and noticed , he found out. Mrs Steel and Tifanny were so deep into the wound that they couldn’t believe what was up upon the STEELS . They kept waiting for him to wake up , but they knew , he was not going to wake up.
But there wasn’t one person who felt the pain as Balthazar . To him it was like life snatched everything of him in just a few seconds.. He sat there and screamed , screamed like he never did before and just the echo of that scream went faint and faint and fainter as he got back to the edge of the cliff he was upon starring into the dusk as the red went blue.
He opened up a letter , he believed was addressed to him as last words by his father.
I know I should have told you and others , but I don’t believe that there is much time left. The world is already running and rushing to its orbit and I bilieve it would have passed a long way off its limits , when you receive this letter , but stiil I wanted you to have this last conversation.
I know you don’t think that my strict and unbending nature is what this name and this family has given to me , but that’s not the truth . The truth is it is you, and the fear to loose you that has made me , and who I am today. I know I wasn’t there to see you take your first steps , or two see you go to school for the first time , but I was there to see you run and render the academics useless. Because I believe that you are much more special and very powerful then any of us. I fear Balthazar that you might get lost . And it is not the darkness that I fear will swallow you up into the rising dusk , but the blazing Inferno you will loose yourself to , because it’s not the dark that fears me , but the fire. Choose your way wisely.
And with tears in his eyes , he crushes the paper in his hand.
“You are too late dad , I am already down to ashes “.
He rose up , closed his eyes , just as a few saline, sorrows dropped down his cheek, and with a swift breeze , he creeks in his stumbling voice , raisin his leg up in the air and into the void
…………………..To Be Continued……………….